I'm tired.
I'm hurting.
I'm worried.
This pregnancy was wanted. It was welcomed. It was celebrated.
This baby is a blessing. She is wanted. She is welcomed. She will be celebrated.
But it can't be over soon enough. It has caused me to wonder if more children is a good thing. It's caused me to question whether or not giving our family size to the Lord is indeed something I can do. I know it's the right thing to do, but I don't think I have another nine months in me.
I'm struggling with life. I struggle to do the barest of bare minimums each day. I have no energy and no strength. I have no patience and no tolerance. I'm pretty sure I may even have gestational diabetes. I bought a glucometer and have been testing my sugar levels several times a day.
It's not looking good.
This comes as no surprise. I'm 100 pounds over weight and in love with sugar. One plus one still equals two, right?
Sixteen weeks is an eternity. I'm hoping that it will be over then and that I haven't really died and gone to he'll without realizing it.
aww sweetie, I'm so sorry you're having problems. Wish I was there to help you. I know you want to leave the number of children up to the Lord, but you also need to listen to your body. Some people can handle it, some can't. Lord knows I honestly don't think I could endure another pregnancy. While I would love more children, it's just not going to happen. Biologically that is. Have you guys ever considered adoption? Is that an option? Call me when you get a chance sweets. I'd love to catch up!
ReplyDeleteOh my! I can relate to just about everything you just wrote, minus the diabetes and the difference in the number of kids you have. Why can't pregnancy be a state of bliss, I mean we are bringing life into the world? Today I could barely get up and down because of some pelvic pain, and then there is the constant pain and pressure in my bottom requiring them to monitor my cervix...And holy irritability! That right there makes me think I could not do this again and all of us survive! Today the topic on my mind is tube tying :) ...I'm with Kari, I could handle another baby (I think) but not another pregnancy (I'm quite certain)...Anyway, I am so feeling your pain. Thankfully once they put that sweet thing in our arms it's all worth it. (Although I think my body is done, it is still all worth it in the end.) Just think, you should be done a good two weeks before me! :) You can do this!
ReplyDeleteHi, you left a comment on my blog and I just had to respond back. DO NOT feel bad about complaining about pregnancy. I hate to admit it but I was once in your shoes and now I am eating every darn word that I ever said!
ReplyDeleteWe have always left the number of children we had up to the Lord. And, as difficult as it was, I am so glad that we have. There were times over the last twenty years that I would look forward to the season in my life where no more children would come---now, I want to turn back the clock. I beg God to forgive me. I know his hand has been in all I have been through this past year and a half--He has really shown me how my thinking was wrong, and how He wants me to be. It's been a real eye-opener.
I saw on your other blog that your youngest is 16 months old, so these next two will be close together. I had that a few times(kids 17 mo. apart) and I was not happy about it--but, wonderful things happen when we listen to Our Lord and now my children who very close in age are the bestest of friends and I cannot imagine it any other way.
I am excited for you and I pray for your pregnancy to be a little easier for you.
Take care.