I wish I had something wonderful to blog about. Well, I suppose wonderful is relative. So of you may think throwing up and having no energy is wonderful. If fact, two weeks ago or so, I blogged about winning an award for my wonderfulness. You can read about it here.
This pregnancy has been a doozie. I have never been so sick and so tired before. I wish I knew why. I have my speculations, but nothing definite. Perhaps it's twins. Perhaps it's the Lord's way of telling me I'm in over my head and to call it quits. Perhaps it's because I'm so fat. Perhaps it's because I'm getting older. Not that 33 I'd old. But when you start having them at 19 and you're still having them at 33 it sure makes you feel old. Perhaps it's the diet/lifestyle we implemented into our life last year. I read a book that changed my outlook on the food we consume. We decided to eliminate all animal products out of our diet. I will admit we never did make it up to 100%. On a good week it was less than 10% and on a bad week it was 25%. Though we still feel strongly about that lifestyle, I wasn't getting enough protein in my diet. We've decided to go back to having more animal protein in our diet for now. Once I'm back to normal, we'll go back. But until then I'm feeling better...
It's funny how no matter how many times I get pregnant, it's still fun and exciting. Despite how awful pregnancy is for me, there is nothing more amazing than seeing that sweet angel for the first time. I think I'll never tire of that experience. There is nothing like it. Nothing.
I would be lying I said that we just want a healthy baby. Sure that is ALL that matters in the end, but we sure do want a sister for Sadie. My gut feeling says it's a girl, but I'm not willing to take it to the bank or bet on it. Guess that's my lack of faith in my gut feelings. We'll find out for sure though. Only way we won't is if we don't have an ultra sound. That won't happen. I cant wait that long to find out. I don't want any disappointment to overshadow the birth of our child and I know me well enough to know that I will be sad if it's not a girl. It won't last, but I will be sad. As shallow as it seems, it's the truth.
Love your honesty ;-)
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, there is nothing like that first time you see him or her... pure magic!
Did I tell you that I cried at 2 of my ultrasounds? Not tears of joy, and not because there was anything wrong. It was just that it was obvious I was having a boy, when I *really* wanted a girl. I would rather cry at the ultrasound than at the birth.
ReplyDeleteOh, and 33 IS old. Well, until next week. Ha!
I remember after 3 boys..I wanted a girl so bad. I knew I was going to be very devastated if it's another boy. The ultrasound showed that I was finally having a girl. I was thrilled! Then with my last pregnancy; I hoped for another girl-a sister for Janessa. But comforted myself with the thought if it was another boy..at least I had my girl. But turned out to be another girl! I was so thrilled and couldn't stop smiling all day long. I hope the same for you. At least you have your girl if this one is a boy. But I THINK you are having a girl!! You should do a poll!
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